Two months ago I disabled my Facebook account. My friends keep asking me why and I didn’t know what to tell them.
At the time I felt like I was acting on a whim, but in hindsight I can think of a number of reasons why I might have quit:
- Micro-blogging was not fun any more
- Managing my settings and content took too much time
- I wanted to get to know people in person
- I wanted people to get to know me in person, but only if I like them
- I wanted to cut out people I don’t want to know more easily
- There’s too much passive-aggressive behavior on Facebook
- I had forgotten how to surf the internet for interesting content
- I checked Facebook far too often
- The novelty had completely worn off
- I am sick of the way I overhear “Facebook” in every conversation
Nice things about having quit Facebook:
- I began to phone my family rather than check their status
- Friends who were quiet on Facebook turned out to be chatty via e-mail
- It was a surprise to find out which friends made an effort to stay in touch
- I felt like I had a lot more peace and time to myself
- I visit a broader range of interesting web sites, as per my pre-Facebook days
Annoying things about having quit Facebook:
- People forget to invite you to events then ask why you were not at them
- You realize how many e-mail addresses and phone numbers you do not have
- Some friends just do not know how to keep in touch, so you have to give them up
- You’re the last to hear a lot of social news
- So many conversations revolve around Facebook that you often find yourself excluded
- You can’t spot bad photos posted online and ask your friends to remove them
- It’s harder to share interesting links with your friends
That’s all I have so far. Let me know if I have missed anything.
I do realize that most of my Facebook concerns are not security concerns. Asides from managing my settings and photos, my reasons for quitting Facebook are of a more social nature. I’d also like to point out that all of the good things about having quit Facebook have far more value than the petty annoyances, even though the list is a bit shorter. The fact that I don’t have to worry about one more aspect of my internet security is an added bonus.
If I were a celebrity, perhaps I would have to make myself a placeholder account like that of Mikko Hypponen, who probably has completely different reasons for not being on Facebook than I.
Best,
Melody-Jane
CC image by momo.
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28 Comments
I like your reasons for removing yourself from Facebook. The more I think about it the more people tend to give up so much of their life to Facebook and telling the whole world useless information.
I think many times if you want to get a hold of me, pick up the phone. What happened to that?
Good for you.
Thanks Robert
If you feel that way then giving up facebook was definitely the right choice for you. I mainly use facebook as a way to keep in touch with family and friends back in the States so I don’t think I could ever give it up. It’s a great and inexpensive way to stay connected.
It was a tough choice to let go of the friends in other countries who do not try to keep in touch, but in the end I have plenty of close friends in Finland, which is my permanent place of residence.
My family I take the time to call, but it is expensive for them to call me, it’s true. We’re not so big on Skype and messenger use.
For a serious dialog with unknown people, yes, this FB is not an easy place. I find something happens to us while on the internet — we seem to believe that we have acquired unusual (destructive ego-centric) powers. Thus we say anything. We believe we have an open mind, which in reality cannot take the heat generated in some discussions.
At any rate, I owe a lot to this medium for more self-learning.
While far too time-consuming, since de-activating FB three months ago, I feel out of touch. Like there is a big club out there from which I am excluded. Computer life is not nearly as exciting!
In spite of this, I’m not willing to re-activate.
In the weeks leading up to my deactivation I realized that while I was not actually ON Facebook a lot, I was THINKING about it too much throughout the day. One of the determiners for me was when something happened during the day and I thought, “I should put that as my FB status!” I was also thinking about my friends’ posts, which was cluttering my mind and not letting me work on my personal and spiritual growth.
I can relate to all of the above comments, and I’m happy with my decision too. It’s been 3 weeks, and I have been much more focused and productive on meaningful tasks! I may go back at some point, but this is good for me now. Glad to hear there are others out there–the only friends of mine who kind of understand my choice are those who have never had an account.
I feel EXACTLY the same as you!!!
It felt like facebook robbed me from doing things genuinely, I thought too much of what I would say to have others ‘like’ it, how I wanted to loose weight to put up a picture, how I wanted to get into a good phD program to brag… it felt like my motivation was all wrong which is why I was left so unhappy in general.Facebook is like any other addiction!! Especially for those that have other addictions, and low self-esteem- It gives us instant gratification in approval or feeling like/loved by others, but when it goes away, we then are just searching for more. It does unable us to take a step back and work on our spiritual growth, meeting people, facing fears… etc.
i completely agree. i deactivate mine last nite. The final straw to me :it becomes too hurtful for me. Most of my fb friend are married/ going to to get married/couple. they post everything there. i cant take it anymore, i am single (they did not take any effort to keep in touch at all, and most importantly they are not “there” in times when its really matters) instead they continue showing off every single happiness/bliss in every moment all the time.
I too deleted my facebook today, i just had enough of people complaining about stupid things. I like reading positive things about people’s days but some people just write angry status after status. Another thing was listing members of family, it might sound a bit childish but none of my family listed me as a somebody, when they listed every other, more distant relative. So i decided to step back before things got to me, and i’ll enjoy real life. Having said that i do have twitter, so if i want to say how my day has been i write it out to a bunch of strangers, and make new friends.
Hi good post. I also quite facebook and feel much better for it. In short, I simply don’t want to be contacted and stay in contact with certain individuals from my past. Facebook is NOT the world’s social networking standard. I disliked the idea that some people from the past can come poking around and assume they have the low down on you from one cursory conversation. And what if you didn’t particularly like that person, you stuck denying them virtual rakes and you need to be updated about the sort of nonsense they had been up to that particular weekend.
I will stick to good old fashion emails and phone calls.
I got rid of my original facebook because every other joe who looked me up from work or where ever else they knew me started to ask me to accept them as friends. Naively I accepted someone from work and found out that she belonged to a “cult” and then I started to get her silly stuff with her lot and worst of all getting very odd photos mixed in with general everyday beach, park, and home, photos – I’m talking about their family gatherings around open funeral casket. So I started to delete stuff immediately from my page so she didn’t know so much about me, my family and who my friends were – this was one pushy lady – in the end I thought hey I’ll start all over again and deactivated the account now i am really really careful.
I deactivated my facebook and now I wantt it back and it says that it has sent an email to my old address and I. Need it sent to my new email address
It tells you when you deactivate it that it can only be reactivated with the email you used to sign up with…
The reason why I want to deactivated my facebook cuz I can’t get pictures of friends and my profile picture is not there so what am I surpose to do I have call my company where I have brought my cell from and they had stated that the service going to be fix I have a blackberry smart phone I will never buy another blackberry again
I deactivated my account couple of months back and it was because of the same reason. I dont have to know everything about everybody in this world.. Got annoyingly out of hand.. I want to be able to enjoy a nice vacation with my friends and family without worrying about what status to update, which photos to upload and checking the likes and comments.
I deactivated my fb account yesterday after realizing I get on there and look to all of my 300 plus “friends” for affirmation. Seriously? In the 24 hrs that I have not been on there none of my “friends” have seemed to notice or care.
My best friend who I go jogging with and have coffee with weekly has never had a fb account and she is the most interesting, kind, honestly the best friend I have ever had.
It is interesting to see who will actually take the effort to cultivate a friendship in real life now that I am not so easily accessible.
I love this article, it makes me feel.like I made the right choice in deactivating my account. Of course it was the temporary one, but now might just kill it completely. If u really think about it Facebook is a dumb game, a game like sims. And the points are counted by the # of friends comments on your status and pics, i mean really, its stupid! Its a popularity contest I am 31 im too old for this “fitting in” world I leave that to my kids. Me, i have more important things to do like talk to the people that really do look for me, call me on my phone, email me and invite me places, i dont need to comment on someones stupid status update like “i had burgers for lunch….mmm!” To keep a friend. I like to talk to people face to face, because even a dumb remark like that, when youre face to face, youll rract differently, more interested and actually give feedback.
Wow, I’m 18 and I deactivated my FB in May 2011 for many reasons, one being like you said, that fb is a huge game, a popularity contest.
But I thought, since I’m a teenager in high school, maybe I
l’ll get a new facebook when I get older and people start to mature…. I guess not….
I deactivated my account quite literally just now. Out of curiosity, I did a google search “why I deactivated Facebook” and here I am. I’m a guilty serial deactivator – this definitely isn’t my frist time. The first time I deactivated, maybe two years ago, I sent out a private message to my “closest” Facebook friends, explaining my departure. I wrote to these friends, providing (and reminding of) my email and mobile number. Initially, I received a couple emails and texts, that was nice. As the the months progressed, sadly, I was forgotten by the majority of friends I so selectively messaged. Since then, I’ve reactivated, deactivated, reactivated, deactivated – I have no clue how many times. For a person who enjoys real quality friendships, conversations and life experiences, Facebook has definitely messed with me psychologically. There was even a time I was managing two separate accounts; “real” friends and family, then the “others”; co-workers, old school peers, networking contacts. Looking back, I realise that was ridiculous. I eventually scrapped the two separate accounts, went back to the one and did some serious culling. But even having removed close to 100 friends – insane, I know, I still found myself having to do a seasonal clean every so often. This time around, I’d like to go back to how life was, pre-Facebook days. Back when I wasn’t criticizing people for their negative status updates and drama. Back when a personal monologue still existed. Knowing who my real friends were, doing proactive things in my spare time, especially online. I’ve never bought a gossip magazine in my life. I hate that celebrity crap. So why should I care what the latest newsfeed headlines are? Rant complete.
I deactivated my FB account today and it feels good, pleasurable and back to life.
( I am 25 )
I used to waste my time there every day reading nonsense crap and now I’m reading something useful for my life
I dont want to tell my children that I did not read anything interesting & helpful because I was fucking busy in reading nonsense crap of somebody Else’s lives.
Now I understand who are real close to me. Real life is much better. ;p
Happy Surfing
Mangesh
Hello!
I loved your reasons actually i felt like youre talking about me lol
i deactivated my facebook two days ago and i looked for that in google so i got to here haha … well id say that i love my life now without facebook although i have too much time i even keep clicking on facebook on my browser!! haha .
i am really missing the days that i used to have, chat and talk with friends online via the email and msn ..
well in short i deactivated it and i am still alive!!!
thanks.
Fadi,
Hi…Thank you for all those comments… they are really helpful. I’ve just deactivated my account and probably will go and hit the big ‘D’ delete button in the following days. I was pretty well popular I think and posted many interesting photos, notes etc. Basically I got fed up with some of the foul language and crude non funny jokes, I felt like I was being dragged down into the gutter of it all. Sadly I’ll miss some of the people there and I wonder how they’ll get on and if they’ll give up like I have. I’m going to miss it I know but I guess I’ll be better without it. (male age 53)
I deleted mine just now. I read several studies on depression, anxiety and other mental issues related to FB use. I just got back from a week of vacation overseas where I had no internet access and therefore didn’t use FB. It felt liberating. I have decided that Facebook is bad for one’s health. Too much gossip and BS but also “behaviors” that people (or supposedly friends) won’t show you in your face. It’s also nice to have privacy and to remain somewhat of a mystery to others.
Facebook is bad for your psychological health.
When I was in the process of deactivating (Wow, now this feels like an addiction meeting)(which, I suppose it essentially is), I knew that if I just deactivated, I’d be back. The next day, next week, next month, whenever it might happen, but it would undoubtedly happen.
So, after hearing about it from peers and professionals, I did a few things:
I went through my entire account and deleted everything: photos, posts, friends, etc., until it was a blank account,
I then changed my name to something like “Phasebuk Noe Moore”,
and then, before deactivating, I changed my password:
I opened a word document, pounded my keyboard until I had a few nice lines of “efvbiegfuoq38″ then copied the whole thing into the “new password” and “confirm new password lines”.
I then deactivated, and without saving it, closed the document!!
It felt very nice….
wow drastic measures B Grrrr, no going back there then?
I can say that I have successfully resisted the temptation to go back and log in the last three weeks. Friends whom I have met since then have enquired why I had deleted THEM and had to explain that It was myself deleting myself. lol. I have been much happier with out it and I think there is a lot of truth in jungianism post up above.
Great post!!
I deactivated mine around 2 months ago after a bad break up.
I can’t lie, sometimes I would sneak back on in the middle of the night, hoping none of my friends ( specifically my ex really would see I am signed on) but I did it for really quickly just to feed my curiousity. In all honesty, it felt like an addict that kind of wants to just pass by the alcohol store one more time.
I did feel more free though, and one of the greatest times was a vacation I took at my parents in Florida during spring break, I just remembered the last time I was there constantly checking facebook and being unhappy. This time I left my phone at home! I enjoyed everything!
But when I came home…just in a few weeks I felt lonely and sad, rough days- we all go through it. Yet like any addiction, you sometimes forget that the bad, and think” maybe I can do it but this time different!”
So yesterday, I took my profile picture down, I deleted a bunch of “friends” and just tried to keep the ones I really care about. This in itself was a headache! I felt myself obsessing over everything again, constantly feeling the need to check it. Felt unsure about the friends I was deleting, what to post, how to set privacy. So much so, I just had to say THIS IS NOT FOR ME. Deactivated again!
you are on point when you said the advantages, people seemed genuinely surprised but happy when I called. Many friends did still try to keep in touch, and of course there were the ones that did not, but then it is okay. Sometimes the only ones you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs.
I did have to start being less shy and speak to others, it was a transition but a growing experience.
For me, that is what life is about. Finding out what works for you and what doesn’t and staying true to what is working for you, without caring so much of what others think or say. At the end of the day they are going to think and say what they want anyway, so might as well stay true to yourself!
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